Remorseful, Not Regretful

I've never seen anything like this before. I found this sign all over a probation office in Washington DC. It's telling you that this dress code is considered inappropriate and disrespectful in this context.

Today I went to probation office in one of the poorer parts of Washington DC. I went with The Free Minds Book Club, a literacy not-for-profit which works with offenders and ex-offenders, otherwise known as “returning citizens” over here. One of the Free Minds project leaders called Jess, led a class of three young men in their early twenties. In the space of just 90 minutes she crammed a lot in, keeping the class moving so attention didn't dip. There was a word game, setting of goals for the week ahead and a review of how goals went from last week, a few minutes of meditation, a short analysis of a text and some essay writing. A big part of the session was about working towards a qualification that the men need which will give them a better chance of getting a job. It’s a kind of diploma that you take if you’ve dropped out of education.

Two of the men were very shy and didn't speak much. The third was much more engaged and talked a lot about a older cousin who had appeared in court that week and the family feared that he faced a long stretch in prison. And more than that, his cousin had a severe facial injury which might leave him with sight in just one eye due to the violence he was recently involved in. During the essay exercise I helped the two shy ones and realised quickly why they were so quiet. It could have been down to their very poor literacy skills. Spelling was a struggle, they were hesitant on computers and their eye contact and interpersonal skills were extremely limited.

There was another man there. Also young, with long and well-looked after dreadlocks. His name was Robert and he's been out of prison for just a year. He served nine years for armed robbery. He described how remorseful he felt because he had thought long and hard about the distress of his victims, but he went on to say, "I don't regret it, because it changed me. If I hadn't been intercepted by the law, I would be dead." All the other men and boys he used to hang out with were dead, he said.

He was there as a mentor, giving peer-to-peer support. He was the wise one in the room and got the others attention and respect.

He tried to persuade the young men in front of him to get rid of the negative things they felt and to get real about crime. Warning them against another stint in prison he said, "They're not going to play with you," referring to the judicial system. "When you're standing in front of the judge it's not a joke. If you're going to commit a crime there are consequences."

He gave some ideas about getting out of old habits. "Do some different things, man. Educate yourself. Pick some grapes. Sip some wine. Go to the library. Get on the computer. Fill out some applications. Go to other areas. Try different, positive stuff." Robert is looking for work and opening up his shoulder-bag to the class, he went through the content. Some CVs, because you never know who you're going to meet, and a notebook that he's just bought for a dollar because he hasn't written for a long time and wants to put his thoughts on paper.

"I started living when I came out of prison. This is as happy as I've ever been. I'm striving and I'm looking for work."

I know he'll get it.